Do We Divorce Because We Married the 'Wrong' People?

The short answer to that is NO! There is nothing 'wrong' about the partners being divorced. That's what we like to believe when we don't want to accept responsibility for the choice we made. No one makes a 'bad' choice when they meet someone because all relationships are based upon trust until each party reveals themselves. We can never know someone in a short space of time so we have to go on the superficial things like looks and communication until we get to know the person's personality. Later down the line, when things do not work out, people then believe their relationship broke up because they were living with the wrong partners whom they should not have married, or set up home with. They believe they made a costly 'mistake' and should have known better. But that is a myth and a fallacy which suits the blame instinct and provides a handy scapegoat for assuaging personal guilt and remorse. Knowing better at that time would have been impossible because both parties would have lacked the knowledge, experience and maturity to make a different decision. That was the only decision possible at that time.

In very simple terms, and stated very clearly to avoid any ambiguity, NO ONE makes a mistake when they select a partner. It is very easy to think we can remedy what happened at the end by saying we made a mistake. No, we didn't! We chose exactly the right partner for that moment in time in our lives, otherwise we would have chosen someone else! Often people vilify their spouses, forgetting the fantastic time they had at the beginning, the hot intense feelings they had for each other, the way they didn't want anyone else because they desired that person too much. Years down the line when the fire of love has dwindled to flickering embers, replaced by resentment and anger, we then believe we did something wrong in choosing that person. But we didn't, unless the relationship was arranged for us or we were coerced into it.

Every decision we made about our life back then was precisely the right one because it matched our MOOD, FEELINGS and ASPIRATIONS at that moment in time. For example, back in 1966 you might have got caught up in the free love and flower-power sex of the liberating Sixties. That would have encouraged you to get a girlfriend who embodied those beliefs, who would grow with you in love and who matched your aspirations according to what you both said to each other and how you treated one another. You would have been in Stage 1 of your emotional development, focusing on money, making your name, getting a great job and realising your own potential. Twenty years on when you are far more mature, you have dramatically increased in experience and your partner has not really grown with you, your feelings and aspirations would have changed in many ways, especially if you are in the mid-life crisis of Stage 3. Of course, you wouldn't feel too happy now and are likely to desire a new partner who reflects those changes in your thinking and living. Hence why many relationships go to the wall at this time. You have simply outgrown each other because of the natural evolutionary changes that we all have to go through in our journey of life.

Using Hindsight to Justify Decisions


Unable to accept the negativity and the unhappiness within the relationship, it is now easy to use hindsight and return to the Sixties to knock yourself with blame about the 'mistake' you made in choosing that woman; a mistake which the power of hindsight, a useless tool, will confirm for you. But you can never go back to that time and understand the young person who was you then. That young person has matured into someone else and the current partner would have done their bit for your journey, would have helped your development and helped your focus. Thank them graciously and move on because, especially where there are children involved, that was no mistake otherwise your children would be a mistake too!

Religious demands of married couples to stay together till death, and our own desire for security, kill relationships and burden them with unrealistic expectations which human fallibility find near-impossible to fulfil. We tend to keep comparing the past to the present, when the past is the foundation we build on, not the crafting tool which makes us what we are. Only time and experience do that for us. The past sets us off on our journey and helps us to become what we are today. If we keep looking back at everything and being dissatisfied with it, that merely makes us doubt our competence, faith and credibility because the past always looks much better, or much worse, than it actually was, according to our level of confidence and feeling of success. It is our desire to make it perfect in our head which makes us look to past actions as 'mistakes' instead of accepting them as the essential ingredients necessary to mould us into the amazing beings we are now.

Please keep reminding yourself that, no matter how bad the person in your life, or how bad things turn out, you made no mistake whatever in your choice otherwise, quite simply, you would have chosen someone different or done something differently. You chose someone to match your feelings at the time, feelings which are no longer there. It goes without saying, that, without those feelings between you to sustain the relationship, and with greater knowledge of yourself and what makes you happy, your union would not be able to survive and that partner would have lost their usefulness. Furthermore, every time we blame ourself for making a 'mistake' in past life, we are also implying that the present is the only yardstick to use to judge our life and, when compared to it, nothing associated with the past can be regarded as valid. In one swoop, with that outlook, we deny our individual evolution and growth in the futile effort to have perfection in our actions.

The past was also the present in its time. It would have been the only yardstick which mattered to our life then. We should never compare it to another age where the norms, ethics, values and expectations would always be different. Fully accepting every stage of our life, without hindsight, while we accept our unique development, is the best way to enjoy our existence while making the most of its opportunities.

Canada's Dollar Rises on Manufacturing Expectations, U.S. GDP

Canada's dollar approached a seven-
month high, after a government survey showed factories expect
increased production in the second quarter and the U.S. gross
domestic product started the year below economists'
expectations.

Canada's currency is headed for its sixth straight weekly
gain after a quarterly survey of 3,000 managers by Statistics
Canada in Ottawa showed 22 percent of manufacturers predicted
higher output, a 4 percentage point rise from January.

``That report was a positive for the Canadian dollar,''
said Sal Guatieri, senior economist at BMO Capital Markets in
Toronto.

The Canadian dollar has gained 0.7 percent this week, to
89.65 U.S. cents at 12:11 p.m. in Toronto, rising from 89.15
U.S. cents yesterday. Earlier today, the dollar reached 89.85,
the highest since Sept. 29. One U.S. dollar buys C$1.1155.

The Canadian dollar strengthened against all 16 most
actively traded currencies.

The production report added to speculation the Bank of
Canada may need to raise its benchmark lending rate between
banks later this year to curb inflation. It has stood at 4.25
percent since May 24.

The central bank said in a statement earlier this week that
inflation will peak at about 2.8 percent in the fourth quarter,
barely within its 1 percent to 3 percent target band.

A separate report released this morning from Washington
showed U.S. gross domestic product, the sum of all goods and
services produced, grew at an annual rate of 1.3 percent from
January through March, slower than the 2.5 pace in the previous
Quarter, the Commerce Department reported. Economists surveyed
by Bloomberg expected a 1.8 percent increase. Canada ships 80
percent of its exports to the U.S.

Fed Speculation

The report pushed the U.S. dollar to a record low against
the euro and boosted its Canadian counterpart on speculation
that the Federal Reserve may cut interest rates to stimulate the
world's largest economy.

``Odds are tilting towards lower rates in the U.S. and
higher rates in Canada,'' said Marc Levesque, chief fixed income
and foreign exchange strategist at TD Securities in Toronto.
``The rate convergence story is overwhelmingly Canada
positive.''

Bank of Canada policy makers on April 24 kept the benchmark
lending rate unchanged for the seventh time, while the Fed has
held its target rate for overnight lending between banks at 5.25
percent since June.

Narrowing Yield Gap

The yield advantage of 10-year U.S. Treasury notes over
similar-maturity Canadian bonds was 47 basis points, down from
50 basis points yesterday. A narrowing yield gap boosts the
allure of Canadian dollar-denominated assets.

``The sense of the market is the next move for the Fed is
down, that's a positive for the Canadian dollar,'' Guatieri
said.

The currency also got a boost earlier today after Statoil
ASA, Norway's biggest oil company, agreed to buy North American
Oil Sands Corp., an Alberta-based oil-sands developer, for $2
billion. Higher commodities prices have made Canadian resource-
based companies attractive for buyers. Crude oil prices have
increased more than 30 percent since their recent low of $49.90
per barrel on Jan. 18.

More Mergers

The announcement ``could increase speculation of more M&A
deals involving Canadian oil companies in coming months,''
Matthew Strauss, a currency strategist in Toronto at RBC Capital
Markets, wrote in a report today. He called the acquisition
``bullish'' for the currency.

The Canadian currency has gained more than 3 percent this
month against the U.S. dollar on evidence of economic strength
and on gains in commodities, which account for 54 percent of the
nation's exports.

The yield on Canada's government benchmark 10-year bond
rose nearly 3 basis points, or 0.03 percentage point, to 4.22
percent. The price of the 4 percent security maturing in June
2016 fell 23 cents to $C98.33. Prices move inversely to yields.

To contact the reporter on this story:
Annie Pinkert in New York at

Petro-Canada Net Almost Triples as U.K Field Starts (Update4)

Petro-Canada, the third-largest oil
company in Canada, said first-quarter profit almost tripled as
the start-up of the Buzzard field in the North Sea boosted
production and stronger fuel demand widened refining margins.

Net income rose to C$590 million ($526 million), or C$1.18 a
share, from C$206 million, or 40 cents, a year earlier, the
Calgary-based company said in a statement today. Excluding one-
time items, the results beat the expectations of analysts.
Revenue rose 16 percent to C$4.84 billion.

Profit from refining more than doubled on stronger demand
for gasoline and other fuel, Petro-Canada said. Chief Executive
Officer Ron Brenneman predicted that the Buzzard field, the
largest offshore U.K. discovery in the past decade, will help
boost the company's production by 15 percent this year.

``It was a very good quarter,'' said Tom Ebbern, an analyst
at Tristone Capital Inc. in Calgary. ``In terms of beating the
numbers, it really was refining and marketing.''

Excluding one-time items such as asset sales and foreign
exchange gains, Petro-Canada said it earned C$1.17 a share. On
that basis, the company was expected to earn C$1.01, the average
of 12 analyst estimates compiled by Bloomberg.

Shares of Petro-Canada rose C$1.60, or 3.4 percent, to
C$48.60 at 11:35 a.m. on the Toronto Stock Exchange. A close at
that price would mark the biggest one-day gain since Jan. 23. The
stock, which has 11 buy ratings from analysts, eight holds and
two sells, has fallen 15 percent in the past year.

Imperial Refinery Fire

First-quarter refining profit soared to C$184 million from
C$75 million a year earlier. Stronger fuel demand and improved
margins contributed to the increase, the company said.

``This increase in petroleum product demand, which was about
3 percent quarter-over-quarter, was certainly at the high end of
anything that we've seen in the last couple of years,''
Brenneman, 60, told analysts and investors on a conference call.
``The strength of it has been a bit surprising.''

Refining margins were helped by the shutdown in February of
Imperial Oil Ltd.'s refinery in Nanticoke, Ontario, which
tightened gasoline supplies and boosted prices, he said.

Combined production of oil and natural gas rose 7.4 percent
to the equivalent of 405,000 barrels of oil a day with the start-
up of Buzzard. Petro-Canada also benefited from increased
production from fields off Canada's east coast and higher prices
for output from its MacKay River oil-sands project, said
Tristone's Ebbern, who rates Petro-Canada's shares at
``outperform'' and owns none.

Petro-Canada owns about 30 percent of Buzzard, located about
100 kilometers (62 miles) northeast of Aberdeen, Scotland. The
field may produce the equivalent of as much as 200,000 barrels of
oil a day later this year, lead partner Nexen Inc. predicted in
December.

First-quarter oil production rose 14 percent to an average
of 280,400 barrels a day. The company said its oil sold for
C$63.46 a barrel, a drop of 2.1 percent from a year earlier.

Gas production fell 5 percent to 748 million cubic feet a
day. The fuel sold for C$7.32 per thousand cubic feet, a decline
of 16 percent from a year earlier.

One-Time Items

Petro-Canada produces oil and natural gas in North America,
Africa and the U.K. It also owns refineries and a national chain
of filling stations in Canada.

Derivatives contracts used to lock in prices on about half
of Buzzard's output reduced first-quarter profit by C$60 million,
compared with costs of C$149 million a year earlier, Petro-Canada
said. The sale of fields in Syria increased profit by C$134
million in the first quarter of 2006, and a U.K. tax change cost
C$242 million.

Imperial Oil Ltd., 70 percent owned by Irving, Texas-based
Exxon Mobil Corp., is Canada's largest oil company by 2006 sales,
followed by EnCana Corp.

(For a replay of Petro-Canada's conference call, go to the
company's Web site at -
canada.ca/eng/investor/845.aspx.)

To contact the reporters on this story:
Ian McKinnon in Calgary
;
Bill Murray in London at
.